I love my grandmother. No, really. I do. I DO! It's just that... well... she drives me crazy. I mean... ok, here's an example of a pretty normal conversation for us.
GM:����So, you got a jury summons in the mail today, for Theresa Hower.
ME:����What? Why did I get a jury summons sent to your house? And why is it in my maiden name?
GM:����I don't know. *suspiciously* They normally send these from the DMV records. You did go to the DMV, right?
ME:����Gramma, *shaking my head* you've seen my new license. Yes, I've been to the DMV, long since. I'll see what I can find out.
GM:����*barely mollified* All right. But see what you can find out about it.
ME:����Ok. *again shaking my head... because, obviously, that's not, in fact, what I just said I'd do* Anyway, do you want to just forward it to me?
GM:����I guess. *abrupt subject change.* So, we have to get together this week.
ME:����Um... probably not. We've got a lot going on this week, and we're leaving on Wednesday for our trip to Washington, D.C. and since we work all week, we'd planned on packing this weekend.
GM:����Well, we're leaving on the 29th to go to Copenhagen, so we'll be leaving before you get back.
ME:����Actually, I'm coming back on the *brief hesitation* 28th. (I actually come back on the 27th, but I KNOW my grandmother, and if I tell her that, she'll insist on seeing me that day.)
GM:����Well, that's no good. I'll be packing that day. So it will just have to be this week. Hank and I are going sailing Friday and Saturday, but we'll be back Saturday night.
ME:����Well, *shaking my head in resignation.* what about lunch on Sunday?
GM:����Oh, good. When do you think you can come down?
ME:����No, I was thinking you could join us at a restaurant near the church. Anthony's dad is coming down on Saturday around 1 to celebrate Father's Day, which means I'll be spending the morning cooking and getting everything ready. They'll probably stay until about 5 or so and then we'll be cleaning up. Then Sunday we'll going to service and I'll teach the kids. No offense, but when we go to your house, we always end up staying for a really long time. That won't leave me much of the weekend to pack. Monday and Tuesday we have stuff going on, too, so it really can't wait ve...
GM:����*snarking* Well, he�s sure been down a lot lately.
ME:����What? What are you talking about? He hasn�t been down since... since... I�m not sure, but it�s been since before we moved. He hasn�t seen the new place yet. I think it was Easter the last time they came our way. We went up there for my birthday.
GM:����*still snarking* No, I'm sure he's been down more recently than that.
ME:����No. Anyway, why don't we get together just for lunch at this restaurant on Sunday and then plan on getting together later on for a long visit, on a Saturday or something?
GM:����So when, about 1:30? Why don't you just call me... oh wait. *still more snarking while utterly ignoring my very reasonable suggestion* You can't. You don't have a cell phone.
ME:����Gramma, *shaking my head for the fiftieth time during this conversation* Anthony's got a cell phone. He'll give you a call when you should head in our direction.
GM:����I guess that will work. But you haven't seen the house and all the work we've done with the yard.
ME:����Gramma, *firmly holding on to my patience before it flees in horror before this onslaught* we really can't come over for a long visit just before we're going across the country. Either I can come by myself on the 28th and talk to you while you pack, or we can come down after the trip on a weekend and really visit.
GM:����So, you'll make sure to call me in enough time to get to the restaurant, right?
ME:����Yes, Gramma. *trying, desperately, not to sigh out loud*
Because, you know... it's perfectly acceptable for her not to be available because she has to pack, but, evidently, it's not at all acceptable for us not to be available because we have to pack. And I'm not about to tell my grandmother that I'm probably going to be getting a cell phone here very shortly. Because then she'd think the snarking did it and well, I'm sure you can see where things would go from there! Next thing you know, there would be snarking about children... oh, wait! That already happens!
The thing about all this is (or rather, several things about all this)... this is normal. It happens on a regular basis. And it's not just me! Ask any of my cousins! They'll tell you! And, while it would be perfectly reasonable to have such conversations if my grandmother were senile or something... She's NOT! She was 17 when she had my mom; Mom was 21 when she had me; I'm only 23, which means Gramma is (barely) 60! (Her b-day isn't until September.) There is nothing wrong with her mi... uh, let me re-phrase that. She's just as sharp as she's always been. This is not some "I'm old and confused so just humor me" lady. Which makes conversations like this one so very, very baffling. And frustrating. But I DO love her.
You know? Suddenly, I have this weird feeling that she�s not coming back and she knows she�s not coming back and this is her way of saying goodbye. And I suddenly feel very, very guilty. Damn, she's good!
How many days until finals? What was one good thing that happened today? Miscellaney:
Rick :: Rick's Site
�::Rick's Comment(s)�::
Hi there! My grandmother is the same only she's 80 but she's been that way as long as I've known her and according to my mom as along as she's known her. It is tough to know when your being taken advantage of and when to let it go. Cause we rally never know how much time is left. Anyway, that's my two-sense worth so I'm pretty much broke now. :) Take care - Rick
[2004-06-17 16:42:11]
ilsa :: ilsa's Site
�::ilsa's Comment(s)�::
Nope, sounds like she is being the matriarch. Why would your grandmother stay in Copenhagen? That would just be weird.
[2004-06-18 16:22:38]
Tessa :: Tessa's Site
�::Tessa's Comment(s)�::
Rick, well, at least I'm not the only one with loony relatives! :)
Ilsa, oh, I know you're right. I do... but she's so darn good at the guilt trip bit!
And, for anyone paying attention: the score is now Tessa: 0, Gramma: 1. She called us yesterday (while we were in church, even though she knows the timing because we've been through it again and again) to say that Chinese food wouldn't be a good Father's Day lunch for Hank, so we should go somewhere else. When we called an hour later (when we got out of service) to see where Hank wanted to go, Gramma told us that they'd already eaten (leftover sandwiches!!! Leftover from Thursday afternoon when Gramma made them before they went sailing!!! Huh?!?!?) "So, you'll just have to come over here, I guess." Because, you know, that's a perfectly logical conclusion to draw from the previous conversation. But I love her. I really do.
[2004-06-21 15:12:53]
� Tessa Logan, 2003-2005 all writing and pictures unless otherwise noted--in other words, don't steal! Having said that, if you know who took the marvelous picture at the top of this page, please tell me!
