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previous ~ ~ ~ next Two things. First, the phone call was a non-event. Mom didn't answer. I sobbed for about 1/2 hour and was moody the rest of the day. Nothing has changed. I would dearly love to believe that she just wasn't in the house and didn't get the message until later, and couldn't call back. Except I know the schedule at the farm, and I know she should've been in the house at that point. Mom doesn't really have friends, and she wouldn't go to see them on a weekend my dad and Larry are both gone. Second thing is I had a very satisfying dream last night. (No, not one of those! If it was, I'd be telling my husband about it, not you!) In it, Anthony and I were hosting a party at "our" house, except that it was actually the the house on Logan Street that we lived in when we first moved in with Larry. Anyway, in my dream, I had invited my parents and Larry, but didn't expect to see them there. In this very large crowd of people I (supposedly) know, I spot my parents, and suddenly have this cold ball of lead in the pit of my stomach. I make my way over to all three of them, trying to do some peace-making. My parents look frightened, and Larry starts making rude remarks. I interrupt him and tell him that what he's saying is not appropriate and ask him to apologize to me. He starts getting red in the face and clenches his fists; he sticks out his chest into my face (because I'm suddenly about a foot shorter) and tries to bully me into being quiet. I tell him that I don't appreciate him trying to intimidate me, and he puts his hands on my shoulders and squeezes. Without even thinking about it, I belt him in the stomach (really hard, without any of the normal drag or lack of impact that you feel in dreams), and tell him to get out of my house, in this very firm tone of voice, no wavering or anything. He clenches his fists and starts to swing at me, and then Anthony steps in and says in this insanely cold tone of voice that he thinks Larry had better leave. Now. And then there's this gray fuzziness where there isn't an actual "scene" but I know that Larry has left. But so have my parents. All the same, I can't even begin to tell you how very, very satisfying it was to punch him. I know that's not a nice thing to say, and it's quite obviously not heading in the direction of forgiveness, which is where I need to be going. I know all that, but I still can't get over how satisfying it felt to stand up for myself and hit him. How many days until finals? What was one good thing that happened today? Miscellaney: Tell me what you think. Ilsa :: Ilsa's Site �::Ilsa's Comment(s)�:: The nerve of him sticking his chest out in your face! I'd belt him too. Was I there? Did I kick him in the shins? [2004-07-26 21:31:30] Tessa :: Tessa's Site �::Tessa's Comment(s)�:: Hee! Sorry, I didn't give you the satisfaction. Guess you'll have to have your own dream to kick him in the shins. (Because the answer is still NO, you can't go out there and beat him up.) [2004-07-28 09:35:48] Nerves ~ ~ ~ Letters Most recent: The REAL surprise party - Monday, Jul. 11, 2005 Still not here - Wednesday, Jul. 06, 2005 Moved - Thursday, Jun. 30, 2005 I survived - Thursday, Jun. 23, 2005 Go see her. Now. - Thursday, Jun. 02, 2005 |
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